I slept late yesterday, ie; The Eve of Raya.
So today I woke up at 8, with ten messages in my inbox. My mum woke me up, saying "Lot Lot pergi Semayang Raya", I didn't feel like going today, I didn't feel like going last year too. Lately Raya seems to be a boring event, for I don' even go back to Terengganu or Kelantan. This year is a year where I am celebrating in Kota Kemuning, Shah Alam, Selangor.
My mum said "Ayah tak bangun lagi, mami da kejut da".
So I showered, then put on the kain pelikat i wore yesterday to isyak, and baju raya since i was form 3. I took the deodorant and hair cream from my bag, then my keys in the drawer. it looks like i would have to go without dad to Semayang Raya; something I havent done throughout my life so far.
My brother is celebrating Raya in Thailand
My sister is in the UK furthering her studies.
It seems it is my first raya alone. I won't cry and be all dramatic, but instead, i drag myself to the Masjid. THE MASJID is overflowing with Banglas and Pakistanis and Indian workers who arent going back to their country. Only some Malays are to be seen. THIS raya feels Too Different.
The prayer is cut short, for the Surau's power is cut off, a black out... I can't hear the speech made by the imam, people all go back and out from the surau, For THE FUSE BOX is on FIRE.
The surau is smoking, and dark. some persist; to listen to the imam. the benggalis and indians and pakistanis and some malays go back.
I go back home, my empty home, to see my mum. My aunt is there to. My dad hasn't arrived yet. He went alone; too. I see that the food on the table is Last Week's curry, and yesterday's rendang. I lost my mood to eat, for i am so used to having lavish foods during raya.
the silence at the dinner table kills me. i can only hear my dad chewing. my mum is looking at the food, smiling. I can only think of my siblings, wondering whether they are having AS MUCH fun as i am.
i say "ma, lot takde mood makan"
i ask my dad "ayah tak keluar ke"
dad says "tak la, tak gi memane"
I go upstairs, and sleep. from 9 something to 3 oclock.
I wake up and see dad is sleeping on the couch, with mum beside him.
Raya is quiet. Too quiet.
I realise raya is nothing without my sibling(s). Hope your raya was fun though. Cheerios.