Saturday, 10 October 2009

Sememangnya Ianya Kechil

hari itu, saya menaiki kereta ke Kolej. Hari tersebut hari yang agak muram, awan-awan berkepul berbaris di langit di kala pagi. Aku menjenguk ke kanan, Saadoun @ (bloody Sakdoun) sedang membaca Quran, Kamil di kiri melayan laptop. Aku melayan jiwa. Torrent DoTA 1.24 tersekat di 99.8%, lantas menzahirkan perasaan bengang.

Aku ke Kolej, dengan sahabat-sahabatku. MyVi tidak sama dengan Wira dahulu, aku tidak selesa dengan kereta tinggi dan berbentuk kotak ini.

FAST FORWARD

Sekarang rehat, aku pun sedang bosan. Machatraamalley kelihatan bosan juga. Semua orang bosan. Kecuali seorang. Yakni Tze Yong, atau sebutan guru Fizikku, DerZee Youngh. Mengapa dia tidak bosan seperti yang lain? Sedangkan kita melepak dan belajar dalam ruang yang sama?

Aku melihat ke telinganya, AH! Itu DIAH earphone headset, rupa-rupanya Tze Yong sedang mendengar lagu. Jika bosan, aku akan segera pergi mencari orang untuk dikacau, maka jelaslah mangsa aku pada hari tersebut si Tze Yong.

Aku pergi ke arahnya, (di berada di koridor kelas), lantas menegurnya.
"Weh DezEE Yongh, kamu dengar lagu apa?" (Tze yong hanya bisa berbahasa Melayu secara baku)

"Hey Mr Luuuuuuuut, Alah, kamu tak dengar lagu ini, ini lagu Cina!"

Aku pun mencari cara sempurna untuk berkongsi earpphone dengannya!

"weh, kamu pun tahu Caller Ringtone saya kan? HA! Saya pun dengar lagu Cina lah, Apa lah kamu ni"

(ini memang dialog yang berlaku antara diriku dan Tze Yong, kerana kami memperjuangkan Bahasa Ibunda)

Aku pun mengambil earphonenya, lantas cuba mendengar lagu yang dia sedang menjiwai, TETAPI...
...
..
.
Aku tak dapat mendengar apa-apa pun? Mengapa? Seraya aku bertanya pada Tze Yong
"Hey, apa sal (pronounced Apa Sahr) lagu ini  tak dapat dengar?"

"Eh, ada la.... Telinga kamu kecil... memang la tak dapat dengar.."

Aku dan Machatramalley pun bergelak, mengapa dia berkata Telinga aku Kecil?  ?? ???
Itu ada apa yang aku ingat dari hari Rabu 7/10/2009....

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

You Can Lick My Balls

Please do not be offended by the title, or reminisce on one of your 'adventures'. Read, and have fun.

I am sitting at the corner of the class, and it is freezing. My friend Zi Yong is sitting beside me (i think), and my other friends are scattered in the class. It was time for language class, and i tried desperately to halt my self from falling asleep.The aircond was freezing my balls off, and there I sat, with my hands once in a while trying to defrost my frozen testicles.

Foreign language was a class i enjoyed, for other people's pronunciation and sentence structures make them sound as though they are either saying something very explicit, or something very stupid; in short, foreign language is  the time for me to laugh my frozen balls off at others due to their shitty pronunciation (though mine isn't perfect).

It was time for another OoBung (exercise) to be discussed, and I had completed mine, so i returned to attending to defrosting the scrotum of my family jewels, whilst the others started to panic and discuss. I smiled, but tried to keep myself from putting on a snobbish face,


And so;
it came the time for little TYK, to read his sentence. TYK wanted to say "You can put the ball on the table", which was "Du kannst mein Ball liegen"
but what he said was much and by far something that kept me awake for the whole 2 hours...
he said
"Du kann ligt mein ball (s) lol"
what it sounded like was
You Can Lick mine Balls

 So I laughed, because this boy wasnt normally bad at foreign languages, but today, he seemed to be somewhat "thirsty" and/or "horny" lol.

I laughed at that moment. I cried at that moment. I laughed and cried at the same time, and so did my friend whom was as competent as myself at foreign languages, "Machattramalley"

And so that was how the day ended, by a boy in my class asking for someone to lick his balls. ( i think hes gay cus there are only 2 girls and around 13 boys in the class ). Toodleoos


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