Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Dicks. Long. Hard. Dicks. (post not really about dicks)

Once again, i am sorry. but tips jpa interview, keputusan temuduga mara, keputusan temuduga, keputusan temuduga bank negara, borang applikasi scholarship bank negara, scholarships in malaysia, scholarship forms, schoalrship, keputusan spm, keputusan stpm minima lol.


ive been bored. and frustrated. and once like last month i got mechanics marks. and they sucked eggs. once i heard the techer say "it doesnt carry marks for your final" i basically shoved a pen up my arse and answered the paper with the pen which was up my arse, ie, i did it half heartedly.

so as expected, i didn't get good marks. it was a five i think. over 35. it was obviously the lowest mark in class. but it didnt quite matter for it was expected.

so getting 5 over 35 is very very bad by anyone's standards, so i sort of merajuk in class. other people were excited about their marks, even though it wasnt going to carry marks for the final.

so everyone was "dude how many marks did you get" and i said lima ah. and they, being the really thick dicks, like dicks with like those really thick veins lol, and unshaved dicks that they are, said "weh tipu lah"

WHAT THE FU** MAN? WHY THe Hell would you ask a question, then when i answer, you tell me im lying. why the hell would i lie anyway? how would that profit me? come on, give me a break man. are you trying to tell me im stupid? is that it? well thats not the way to tell someone theyre stupid. you do that by telling them, by saying to them "kau bodoh".

by saying "ah tipu lah" or "weh betul-betul lah, markah ko berapa" or "weh cakap la betul-betul", you are being a dick. a really long, hard veiny dick. which is unshaved. yeah. thats how much and what type of dick you are. people like you. disgust even people like me. i being a person who call other people dicks, in detail, and disgusted by your means of asking how many marks i got for mechanics.

so the next time i tell you i fail, or get low marks, i mean it, you dick. people dont profit from telling you how little or how low their marks are, they are ashamed, and ashamed enough, even wothout your dickish-mocking.

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Japan ichiban

i was at the hospital. i was alone for most of the time. i was watchign some star movie show, there were subtitles but i couldnt read them cause they flew off the screen.

i was listening to some songs, while thinking of how long i had to wait. before it was my turn to see the doctor.

the last time i came i embarasseed myself.  i had a subtitue mechanics teacher at the time. her name is teng pek eng. ms teng pek eng. lovely teacher. i tell you. 

anyway, i went

"ha ya, saya nak jumpa doktor teng pek eng kak"

the nurse gelak gelak.

"mana ada teng pek eng kat sini!"

rupanya it was still doktor teng but not pek eng. some other teng.

anyway this time i saw a dude and his dad. i think the dude should be round 16 or 15 or even 18. he was with his dad, like i use to come to the hospy with my mum. the dad got tired of waiting (though i waited for an hour longer than he did)

he said

"you all ah, nurses ni, attendants, you all need training la. how long more ah i have to wait ah? my son bla bla bla"

the nurses went "please calm down sir, there is a waiting list"

but the dude went on and one, damn rude. his son was playing psp. gampang. kaya gampang. damn muthrfx.

anyway, i saw this japanese man. he had brought his translator along. then when his appointment ended, he bowed to his translator. his translator bowed back. then he bowed. then his translator bowed back. then guess what. yeah he bowed. until one point the translator went like "sorry i gtg" then didnt bow but went away.

looked like 2 stupid chickens. though i know its polite. it just looks like chickens.

then when the japanese dude was called by the nurse, he went and stood in fornt of the counter in a "senang diri" position. with arms behind his back. like kawad style. damn cools.

kawad style oh yeah

Saturday, 13 March 2010

Final Fantasy XV

Lately I've been playing Final Fantasy XXV. It is really  cool. you know like yeah. Especially that dude yeah him.

Yeah no. I ve never played Final Fantasy. But my roomates do. And my kawan sekolah rendah do. and like basically everyone who owns a PS2 does too. and that is a large proportion of our population. so usually like people talk about Final Fantasy.

but i m helpless to join. so like usually i ll go "wait no man, isnt that the like XII? i thought XII was online?"
yeah or like
"yeah tidus is cool and all, yeah i like that summoning spell"
"its damn hard to fight the boss at the end kan?,  i didn't level and it was like SUSAH gele ah weh"

its pretty pathetic but i make a thing out of it.

then theres like kingdom hearts. then people go like
"man i m looking forward to the 3rd KH"
then you just like "no man i like guitar hero better, yeah guitar hero bla3"
so basically you have to change the topic so you dont look like a freaking tiang.

its like one of those moments after the spm, everyone does it. everyone.
"weh ko berapa A?? pasni sambung mana? amik lesen dah?"

anyway, i think that, a girl with a misai can still be cute, but i find it quite hard to find a girl with kening sambung cute. i feel like spamming your facebook wall with "KENING BAIS" when i visit your profile. i am sorry but this is just honesty.

but if like are slim and all and like try to wear proper and sopan and all its okay. but i ve seen people like wear ULTRA SEXY clothes, like that spaghetti thing right, but like on her face theres like a freaking JAMBATAN PULAU PINANG. like wtf.

the other day at petronas me and my friend were sitting down waiting for some dude withdrawing money, then we saw this really sexy lady at the counter. but we couldnt see her face. her shirt was see through and you could see her black bra and everything. she was buying cigatrettes. but when she turned around, she was like "JULING SHIALL"

come on la. if you wear proper and all, people wont disrespect you. but if you were shit like that then you arent even respecting yourself. da la JULING, nak pakai sexy. tak sedar diri la. merokok plak tu. aduh. da la kedut2 lagi muka nk pakai sexy. takde keje gle

Monday, 8 March 2010


people and like hyped nerd students are goin to  be googling UTP and Universiti Teknologi Petronas in the next few weeks, so i'm gonna make this post about my (crappy) experience at Universiti Teknologi Petronas Educamp. Educamp 2010. 

I want to Universiti Teknologi Petronas Educamp 2009 when it was still 2008, cause i was in the trial results Educamp. If you are driving there, and you find yourself lost in the Hutan Belantara of Malaysia (specifically Perak), then have no fear, for UTP dwells well in the Woods of Malaysia.

the UTP is in Tronoh, but people will make stupid lame jokes. Utp kat TORONTO, hHAHahHAah, kan Tronoh bunyi macam TORONTO. oh UTP is near OTAWA, kan its near Air TAWAR. kan AIR TAWAR SOUNDS LIKE OTAWA. Kelakar kan? gila kan?
 kan? lawak kan? bodo. tak lawak.

I arrived there a day early, only to be greeted by my best Sekolah Sultan Alam Shah Friends Mohd Haziq bin Ayob, and Khairuzzikri Sagi. And the thing we did next was look for an iron and some food together. So we walked the Crappy Asrama blocks, the names were like Pentana and Duyung. I get the name Pentana, cause it was a sciencish thing, but duyung is a myth. so ntah. (duyung is actually name of island where they gali minyak, try say this during ur interview u will get CAPAP MARKS + 5)

anyway, the first day during educamp was confusing and tiring, since we had to do alot of walking, and they gathered all students in the hall. here, u had to pass ur your copy of sijils and a shitload of personal documents. then you made ur way up a shitload of stairs to the star wars HALL!!! 

then the KETUA PELAJAR of UTP or KETUA SISWA or whatever gave a speech. He was from terengganu, he said. His English was crappy. It was a disgrace to all Terengganu people, because most student who were sleeping at the time, woke up to say "budu" or "petrolieung @ petroliung @ petrooo (no L) "

his pronunciation sucked. and so did the sucking of the EDUCAMP. anyway, next we had to take some english and logic tests. they were hard. the logic tests were like those online IQ tests, but the English tests were like those EST questions.

eg: the car is blue.
Question : how many doors does the car have?
a) the car has no tyres.
b) the car has a sunroof
c) i like lorries


anyway. most students dont complete the tests, so if you dont complete it, dont worry. i completed it though, and still didnt get the scholarship, so, i recommend you not to complete it.

anyway, next day, were the interviews. the Universiti Teknologi Petronas Educamp interview tips. there was a group discussion, where u were divided into groups then u had to discuss social and scientific topics. in my group there was this girl named Zunnurrain. she was annoying gila sial. i discussed the typical Malaysian Topics. Rempit. come on lah UTP, rempit? this topic is so 2000 and late, and im like so 2008 kot. come on la UTP. anyway the interview in groups is okay, the individual interview is hard, cause there is noone to cover ur ass. that black hairy ass of urs.

then the last day, there are no activities, so i slept with zigu and haziq.

the last day, we had to take the bus to the train station to go back to KL, and it was raining. so like we still had to queue in the rain to get into the bus. and i was sittting already in the bus next to this realy hot girl, and i made small talk, and she was like all "hi lotfiiiiiiiii" and i was like "my long hair is so macho when its wet, damn im handsome"

but then zikri and haziq were standing up cause they didnt have places to sit. then the bus driver said
"weh korang turun, tak boleh berdiri"

damn gelabah, so i had to get off, then as i came off i screamed "babi"

the girl laughed when i got off. damn tiao.

anyway, the educamp was great. google educamp
educamp educamp educamp interview educamp official website educamp requirements educamp official documents educamp date educamp details directions to UTP map to UTP lol nark lol
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