Tuesday 25 May 2010

Your Love Has Always Been Enough For Me II

So i came back home. And my mums car was at the porch, the Satria Neo. That was the only car there. That for me was no surprise, seeing that i dont expect my dad to be home at that hour (which was 10 @ 11)


So i tuned down the loud music as i steered the car into the house compound. That night it rained a little but i still left the windows open. I prefer the wind.


So I drove in. It was dark. Too dark. I dont know why but my mum doesnt like turning on the porch lights. She likes the dark, which is why i guess i sort of like it too.


Though being 19 and having a beard and a misai sket sket, it didnt stop me from being the anak bungsu. So went out of the car, excited. I know it may be silly. but i was excited. Cause i havent met my mum for a while. Though i dont do anything with her, like go out for dinner, but just seeing her face is good enough i guess.


So then i went in. And like i always did. I shouted 
"maaaaaaaaaaaaaaa oh maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"


then campak my bag at the door. no response
"maaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, ohhhhh ma, ma kat atas ke? mami tido ke"


but still no response....


so i went to the guest room.. then i saw my mum praying... but she didnt pray standing like we do... like if u sakit kaki or have problems standing then u can pray sitting... then if u cant pray sitting cause u are really hurt then u can pray laying down... she prayed sitting...


when i called her name.. she ended he prayer... got up... then hugged me... like she always did...
then i asked her
"mami sakit kaki ke"


she said no... but the thing is.. when i come back.. at that hour on other days she usually is praying standing you see... so i was worried for her... and i asked her again ...
"kalau mami sakit mami cakap kat lot.. takpe"


but she said
"nanti dua tiga hari ok la lot"


i didnt want her to give the details... i was just happy that she was still there seeing what she had been through... so i hugged her... again... as always...


i wanted to say
 "lot da besar, mami boleh bagitau lot dah"
but in reality "lot tak besar"


so i shut up, and ran upstairs. where i forgot about the whole thing. only to remember again during the maths paper 2 exam (0945 18952010)... then i became all sad... then i tried to sleep... but didnt want a tasik air liur on my paper... so i doodled the remaining 45 minutes..

Friday 21 May 2010

sorry

im sorry. its not like people read this stupid blog anyway.

im sorry not cause of the inconvenience but if you are taht person, then i am sorry to you.

ok?

ive got many posts lined up... i deleted this blog cause i dont really need some fuckers telling me how screwed up i am, cause i most probably know that i am a retarded fucker tahts has issues be it daddy issues or any issues.

nanti la aku layan kalian
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