Depression

If possible, we write using 'we' and not 'I'. It shows a sense of connection and it doesn't sound so 'braggy' or arrogant. There is an arrogant air about a text using 'I' or 'when I was young' and the sort.


http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/100002589.html
Here is a short description of Timolol, eyedrops which were prescribed by the doctor for my worsening condition. This drug opened my eyes not only physically but also sort of mentally.


Depression. I used to laugh at the word, since there isn't a lot of emphasis on psychology in Malaysia. I related depression to some emo kids in Times Square, to some fat kid in school who would sit alone because I called him overweight. 

Side effects

Medicines and their possible side effects can affect individual people in different ways. The following are some of the side effects that are known to be associated with this medicine. Because a side effect is stated here, it does not mean that all people using this medicine will experience that or any side effect.

• Blurred vision
• Inflammation of the membrane that lines the inside of the eyelids and outside of the eyeball, causing redness and discharge (conjunctivitis)
• Inflammation of the eyelids (blepharitis)
• Inflammation of the cornea (keratitis)
• Dry eyes
• Double vision
• Drooping of the upper eyelid (ptosis)
• Headache
• Fatigue
• Chest pain
• Allergic skin reactions
• Disturbed sleep
• Depression
• Low blood pressure (hypotension)
• Dizziness
• Cold hands and feet
• Slow heart rate (bradycardia)
• Disturbances of the gut, such as nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, indigestion
• Heart block or heart failure
• Shortness of breath (dyspnoea)

Here is the list of symptoms of Timolol, and depression is on the list. After a week or so on Timolol, I suffered depression. At first I thought I was being 'weak', because I felt like crying a lot. But then I read up on these new eye drops, and saw this symptom.

Depression is amazing; It was refreshing. During an afternoon drive, I felt the wind blow on my face through the open window. Suddenly thoughts and memories of my childhood came rushing. I remembered the first day of 'tadika', where my dad combed my hair sideways and I had a dollop of talcum powder on my neck and chest.

I remember sitting in a class full of kids staring at me while I introduced myself in broken Bahasa Malaysia, and I remember waiting for my mum after school as a child. In a nutshell, some stupid eyedrops made me feel like crying. And not crying: crying. It made me feel vulnerable, sad, weak, lonely and depressed.

I was sort of surprised how this 'disease' is being kept in the dark. But hey, this is Malaysia. 1Malaysia woot woot.