Tears in My Red Eye

I am sorry for the typos in this blog but i really cant help it anymore.

The one and only reason i am writing this is because i m pissed of at a person, at people, who push me, little by little, til i itp. its like a lemming, but its not running. But its being pushed off a cliff. Sure its natural for lemmings to dive off cliffs, but i m not a lemming lol.

Heres the deal.

I > i work my ass off behind the computer. i get my arse whooped by my mum and dad in certain ways so that i study. my brother and sister have a reputation that put me in a position so that i push myself til wee hours of the night to succeed. i spend hours on end at class readin books in my own way, making formulas that i can easily remember for upcoming exams. i plan the morning assembly so that i wont have to lie during interviews. i stopped smoking so i wont look bad further on in my life.

But when i end up being ridiculed by an ignorant stranger, it hurts. When my friends ridicule me, i feel nothing " bak kata pepaah alah bisa tegal biasa", same goes for my family and teachers. They talk shit to me, but i dont care. i know they dont mean it. but being called stupid by a stranger is like ... phasing out. The white light, makes ur pupils dilate ( or the opposite of dilating that is ), then the world loses all meaning.

work my fucking ass off for years to build a fucking reputation then at the end of the day, a complete stranger calls me stupid for what?
was it the way i dressed? i know i have the most imperfect red yellowish eyes, and plaque on the teeth, but i did not deserve that. I can say how much it isnt true, or i can say how stupid she is for calling me stupid, but the fact is, it hurts. being called stupid hurts. no matter who says it. whether its your mum or dad or sibling or friend or some bitch or some barstard, it hurts.

i would know seeing that my surroundings ( lol ) call me stupid. when my sister gets pissed at other people she starts saying nasty stuff ( not on purpose ; subconciously [ah yess] ) then ends up saying nasty stuff. know that shes mad at someone else, but that hurts quite alot. (minus the quite)

I was planning to continue my previous post but things got in the way.

i cant really say why though., .,

Perjalanan; journey I

This one is entitled -pencemaran or in simple language; pollution.



This is a picture of the beach, and the slippers of my sister.

i cant afford a camera yet so i be snapping pictures from my laggy pda

enter darkness

i am blogging from my mums e71, not because i am trying out this cool wi-fi available at sjmc

But because like the title says;
I fear the worst, that being not long from now, the world for me will be a little bit darker. You see, i am going blind

To all those stupid people who haven t heard glaucoma, well, heres ur chance. It is a symptom whereby a white thingy blocks the pupil, therfore not allowing light to enter the eye. if u still dont get what i mean, well, glaucoma causes blindness.

blindness may be a normal thing for any other 17 year old, wait, WHAT? You mean being bling at the tender age of 17 is abnormal!!!?? Say it isnt so!

That is why i am posting this, because i may be one of the not so many teenagers that will be turning blind in my right eye.

I am not blind because i am so stupid that i stare at the sun all day. No, though i have many times stared at the sun til i am dizzy, that is not the reason. BUT, because overdose of drugs

-begini kisahnya
My mum ni kan, gemar sungguh mintak extra meds. If you see in the cabinet downstairs, you will mistake it for a kilang glaxo-smith-kline (producer ubat2)
So, when i tga sakit mata, i went and asked for meds from mum. I was meant to be on steroids for 1 month, but because i forgot, i have been using them on and off for 3 months, sadly, causing my eye to be in great pain over the few months.

Just now i sat in the doctors office and did the letter identypifying thing. My left eye, being s 20-20 vision eye, aced it. My right eye got all of em wrong. And now, i see my future, or at least the right part of my future is not so bright.

So, if you are reading this, post a money donation to my maybank account - just kidding. No, if you are reading this, don t do drugs, wait, tak jugak kan. if you are reading this, good.

I hope i don t turn blind, in either eye. But if it happens, i will just go with the flow, and buy an eyepatch and pura2 be a pirate for the rest of my life - mekhael

Mengapa

After hours tapping on the sony E keypad

After minutes waiting for the commuter

Days waiting to get better from the cold

Seconds for the race to begin

I finally realise i ve been blogging shit

so instead, i just wana post vids and photos and other shit which is more abstract

sorry IDA ku syg, no more writy2 for me