Ingat Tak Zaman Dulu

Kerana PPSMI sudah dimansuhkan (tetapi realitinya, ia masih sedang dipraktikkan, kerana hanya pada 2012 akan betul-beul dimansuhkan), maka post ini akan ditules dalam Bahasa Ibunda, atau Bahasa Melayu

Jadi saya ingin berkongsi kisah zaman dahulu, yang masihku ingat,dan agak segar dalam memoriku. Ianya berlaku dalam sekitar 1995, pabilaku masuh umur mentah, yakni 4 tahun. Di kala itu, aku masih di tadika.

Aku ke tadika berpakaian seperti kelasi dari kartun, baju puteh, ada belang biru di kolar. Di kala itu, rambutku disikat ke tepi, muka masih licin seperti punggung bayi, dan mata masih putih, gigi masih rongak. Begitu contrast dengan sekarang. (mata merah, gigi mantap sekali, handsome lol).

Aku ke tadika menaiki van, penuh dengan kanak-kanak lain

yang segenerasi denganku. Rakan karibku merupakan sepasang kembar, (maaf kerana tidak ingat nama), mereka hitam manis, dan juga merupakan jiran tetangga. Kerana ibuku mendidikku dengan begitu mantap (dan sempurna), belajar di Tadika mudah. Sekadar A B C dan 1 + 5. Ianya seronok, kerana aku dapat menumpukan perhatian pada bermain-main dan berborak tentang Episod Ultraman pada hari sebelumnya.

Petang pula lumba basikal di jalan yang lurus, di mana rumahku terletak. Ibu telah membuat peraturan (yang sering dipertikaikan); iaitu tidak boleh turun ke tanah sebelum pukul 6 petang. Berdegup kencang jantung menunggu 5.50 (kerana curi-curi keluar awal).

Malam, sekeluarga ke Pizza Hut, menyambut Abang yang telah mendapat tempat pertama untuk peperiksaan. Itulah Abang di mataku, sentiasa nombor 1, peperiksaan nombor satu, jawatan Ketua Pengawas, sememangnya idola.

Jika hari lain, kita ke Warta, membeli-belah dan menambah barangan keperluan harian. Kemudian ke warong untuk dinner. Ayah order teh tarik, menjadi Trademark-nya ketikaku kecil, air itu sinonim dengan perkataan Ayah.

Petang pada hujung minggu Ayah menonton Televisi. Pabila Abang sangkakan Ayah tidur, dan menukar saluran @ channel di Televisi, Ayah pun "oih jangan tukar!". Seperti magis, dengan matanya pejam pun Ayah bisa menonton Televisi. Sesuatu yang menakjubkan.

Sekali sekala abang ke kedai (yang berhampiran), untuk membeli Benson Hedges 20 (rokok orang tua yang berat lagi padat). Ketika itu Ayah heavy smoker, iaitu menghisap sekotak rokok atau lebih dalam tempoh sehari.

Namun begitu, kita masih sekeluarga, masih gembira. Ke pasar pagi atau Pasar Selayang, hanya aku, kakak, dan Abang serta Ayah menaiki motor (aku dalam bakul, Abang di belakang (membonceng), Kakak di tengah, Ayah bawa motor.

Di warong, ayah menyalakan sebatang Benson & Hedges-nya. Segera aku menjerit- "ayah buat 'O'!! Buat 'O'!! " dan Ayah pun menghembus sekepul asap berbentuk cincin.

Itulah kenangan. Yang kini aku kenal seperti impian. Lol. DIck. Dick. Dick lol.

Pabila Super Lancau Mengorak Langkah

Today lets look back on an istilah which I seldom use, but is so relevant in our daily lives; Super Lancau

Super Lancau is a new form of lancau, which causes frustration, anger, and is the cause of "SL" is simply because of stupidity. SL is triggered by stupidity (or rudeness).

I woke up on Thursday, late as usual. It was Mafia who woke me up if I am not mistaken. As I looked outside my room, I saw the others had already worn their 'go-to-class' attire. So I quickly got myself up, to take my 'kerbau-like' shower.

As I wash brushing my teeth, I remembered my roommate was still sleeping, so I told my other roommate to wake him. And as I was about to finish brushing my teeth, he entered the toilet, and entered the shower; which I was abou to enter.

Now try say it aloud, cuba sebut kuat-kuat, S-U-P-E-R L-A-N-C-A-U
Yes, it was frustrating because I was already late. And the person who i woke up delayed me even more. It is like Kacang Lupakan Kulit, but a Super Lancau version.

Because the only shower was occupied, I went to the empty room beside mine. The room is empty, and used only when my friend wants to play with his remote control car. BUT, the shower was occupied.

I knocked on the door
'oih lama lagi ke?'
> 'takdeeeeeeeeeeeeeelah, kejap je'

I didn't know whom it was, but i waited for him. Turns out, he had only started showering. I could see his hand reach for his Body Wash which he had placed on the toilet wall.

Sekarang adik-adik, cuba ikut abang, sebut S-U-P-E-R L-A-N-C-A-U
Damn. A very frustrating morning.

My Gay Morning (featuring Ilham Kamil)

So a few days back, (Wednesday to be precise @ specific), i had a/an (extremely) gay experience. It was 7++ in the morning, and my stomach was grumbling. So I decided to go to the toilet to have a brief 'thinking session' in the toilet.

The other 'children' lol, had already went on the bus to have breakfast at the College. But me and my friend Ilham Kamil decided to take The Road Not Taken, ie; not having breakfast, but instead, taking the late bus.

It was then, at the bus station, where my friend Ilham Kamil @ Mafia (from now on he will be called Mafia) spotted a'bidadari' lol. Actually, what he spotted was ba beautiful bapuk wearing a white sweater. the rambut of the bapuk was rebonded, or naturally very straight. HER face (lol) was covered in a thin layer of powder (judging by her beauty, it was most probably Olay, or SHE was naturally beautiful LOL).

SHE talked to her less beautiful bapuk friend who was nowhere as beautiful as SHE was lol. SUDDENLY, the RapidKL comes zooming. So the bapuk had moved beside Mafia. I had not noticed that bidadari and Mafia were side by side.... UNTIL Mafia gave a sharp look at me.

The penetrating eyes of Mafia had reached deep into mysoul, thus, i looked at him. Mafia was beside the bapuk! And is seems that he was very happy, or steam lol.

Mafia and I had talked about the bapuk's beauty while on the way to The College. It was a gay day, a very gay day